“TESTIMONY” Lyrics

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After performances of “Testimony” by various choruses, including the recent concert by the Los Angeles Gay Men’s Chorus, we have received requests from fans who would like to be able to read the lyrics. Please follow this link for a PDF file of the lyrics. They are also posted below.

For more information and a link to the Testimony Video, please follow this link.

For sheet music, follow this link.

TESTIMONY

By Stephen Schwartz

Texts inspired by the “It Gets Better” projectI don’t want to be like this
I don’t want to be who I am
Every day that I don’t change
I blame myself
I am not trying hard enough
(I don’t want to be like this)
I am not trying hard enough
(I don’t want to be how I am)

When they find out
No one will love me
I’ll lose my family
And all of my friends
(I’m trapped like a fish with a hook in its mouth)

I am impersonating the person I show as me
I’m an imposter
I am a spy behind enemy lines
I pack my feelings so deep inside me
They turn to concrete
(I don’t want to be like this
I don’t want to be who I, how I, what I am)

Every night I ask God to end my life
(I am an abomination)

Overlapping:
God take this away or take me away …

I don’t want to be like this …
I don’t want to be who I am, I don’t want to be how I am, I don’t want to be what I am
I don’t want to be anymore …
Today I’m going to hang myself
Today I’m going to slit my wrists
Today I’m going to jump off my building …
Take me away, take me away, take me away …

Hang in, hang on
Wait just a little longer
Hang in, hang on
I know it now, I know it now
If I had made myself not exist
There is so much that I would have missed …

I would have missed
So many travels and adventures
More wonders than I knew could be
So many friends
With jokes and laughter, not to mention
The joy of living in authenticity
Sometimes I cry
Life can still be hard
But there’s no part of me
Still crying: “Hide me”
I would have missed
The chance to sing out like this
With people I love beside me

I have been brave
I grew, and so did those around me
And now look what a life I’ve earned
It gets more than better
It gets amazing and astounding
If I could reach my past, I’d tell him what I’ve learned:
I was more loved
Than I dared to know
There were open arms
I could not see
And when I die
And when it’s my time to go
I want to come back as me
I want to come back as me.

 

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